


In the Soft and Quiet

by mcgarrygirl78



Series: Gentleman Prefer Blondes [3]
Category: Criminal Minds
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Friendship, Humor, Romance
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-05
Updated: 2014-10-05
Packaged: 2018-02-20 00:44:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,048
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2408927
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/mcgarrygirl78/pseuds/mcgarrygirl78
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He didn’t want her to drift away; this seemed like a moment where she could drift away.</p>
            </blockquote>





	In the Soft and Quiet

The ominous rumbling of thunder woke her out of a light and fitful sleep. Erin looked up at the ceiling; watched the rain slide down the skylight. It was pouring, had been all day, the forecast said it could be 2” by tomorrow evening. The weather made staying in the perfect idea and she and David did just that. He made her dinner, a meal of grilled calamari and garden greens.

It was a lovely summer meal. Then they curled on the couch and watched _North by Northwest_. The movie was Erin’s favorite and Dave was a Hitchcock fan as well. After _North by Northwest_ it was _Rear Window_ and then bedtime. That was almost three hours ago; now she was awake again. Dave opened his eyes, cuddling closer to her and rubbing her stomach. Erin sighed as he kissed her bare shoulder.

“This weather is supposed to be perfect for sleeping.” He whispered.

“I was asleep.” She replied.

“Now you’re awake. Is it the storm?”

“No.” Erin shook her head.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

“Not particularly.”

“OK. Just let me ask one more question. Do you want to go home, Erin? Are you feeling a little…closed in? It’s alright if you are. We said we weren't going to pressure each other and I'm standing by that.”

“That was two questions.” She glanced at him, putting on a weak smile. Dave kissed her lips.

“You can choose to answer one of them.”

“I don’t want to go home. I haven’t seen you in two weeks and tonight was nice.”

“Tonight was fantastic. Its not often I can find time to cook and watch TV. Work has been busy, I haven’t had the time to see you…tonight was everything I wanted it to be. Still, I've noticed for some time that you’ve been holding back a bit.”

“I just don’t want to mislead you, David.” Erin said.

“Mislead me how?”

“I don't know.”

“I think you do know.”

“Don’t do that,” Her body stiffened in his arms. “Don’t say it like that. I just don’t think…” Erin sat up and sighed. OK, she needed to get it together. Why was this happening right now? Where did it come from? She got out of bed altogether, grabbing Dave’s tee shirt from the floor to cover her naked body. “Do you mind if I smoke?”

“No.” Dave lied, shaking his head.

Erin nodded, going over to the window with her cigarette. She lit it and inhaled deeply. It almost reminded Dave of those two or three times in his life he had a joint. He wondered if Erin Strauss ever had a joint. While she didn’t look like the type to indulge that didn’t mean she hadn’t. She had been blowing his mind since the day they met.

He almost snickered thinking about her in some dorm room with a bong made out of a potato. Dave would laugh about it later, right now there more pressing things to consider. He turned in bed to look at her. She was trembling, though it wasn’t cold in the room. He wanted to hold her but knew from her body language that would be unwanted.

“There's something about me you don’t know.” She said.

“We’ve only been seeing each other for about three months. With our schedules the way they are its hard to make time. When we do, we talk. I'm sure there’s a lot more conversations to be had. I look forward to them; even the tough ones.”

“The first night we met you told me you had three ex-wives.”

“I do.” Dave replied. “Joanie was my first; she was my high school sweetheart. Then there was Denise, my only Italian wife. She was followed by Stephanie. I try my best never to talk about Stephanie. I chalk the whole thing up to everyone makes mistakes.”

“I was married too.”

“When?” He asked.

“I was 23, fresh out of graduate school. It was stupid.”

“Why would you say that?”

“I did it out of jealousy. I was so jealous of Nora and Daniel, which was silly. It was no one’s fault that they were perfect for each other. They’re still so perfect for each other. I felt like I was losing my best friend; I didn’t want to be alone. I’d been dating Alexander for nine months when he proposed and I accepted. I just thought maybe if I was married, if someone loved me like Daniel loved Nora, I would never be lonely again. I hate even telling you this.”

“Why?” Dave got out of bed and went over to the window. He wrapped his arms around her, holding on tight. He didn’t want her to drift away; this seemed like a moment where she could drift away. “You can tell me anything, Erin. I'm never going to judge you or like you less. We all have stories…some a little darker than others. I'm far from perfect and I expect that you're the same. How long were you married?”

“Three years. I never loved Alexander, though I did like him in the beginning. That didn’t last long either. He was nothing like you, I’ll just say that.”

“I'm going to take that as a compliment.”

“Please do.”

“Did he hurt you, Erin?”

“Wouldn’t that be convenient? A strong woman in an abusive relationship is so damn cliché. It wasn’t that simple, I don’t think it ever really is except in TV movies. Alex was much more subtle in his approach to taking over my life. He liked to pick out my clothes, told me he wanted me to be pretty. He liked to order my food, said he knew what I liked. I just woke up one morning and I wasn’t me anymore. Does that even make sense?”

“Yeah.” He nodded.

“He was aggressive sometimes, particularly in the bedroom. He liked it rough, which would’ve been fine if he liked to beat himself up. I wasn’t abused, I said yes, but I don’t know why I said yes. He was so persuasive, everyone loved him. I felt guilty that I didn’t. I thought something was wrong with me.”

“When did you decide to leave?”

“He wanted more. He wanted more of me and my time and my soul. I finally said no; I wanted out. I thought it was going to be more difficult than it was. Guys like him don’t like it when someone rejects them. But he had someone waiting in the wings so he let me go. Poor girl, whoever she was…I'm more grateful to her than words can express.”

“So am I.” Dave kissed the nape of her neck. “It’s not always easy to see what's happening when you're in love.”

“I wasn’t in love, Dave. That’s what I'm trying to say. I don’t know why I let that happen when I didn’t love him at all. I guess my biggest fear is when I do love someone, I will lose control. I’ll be so blinded by my feelings that I won't be able to make rational decisions. Is that a ridiculous fear?”

“Its not a ridiculous fear, though maybe unwarranted. You’ve grown a lot since graduating from grad school. You know what you want, and don’t want. You know yourself and the power you possess. You know that you're never going to be hurt again, physically or emotionally, by someone claiming to love you. That’s a lot more than many people can say. Look at me and tell me what's on your mind. What brought this up tonight?”

Erin put out the cigarette and turned in his arms. His eyes were so soft, loving. She was sure they weren't like that when he was out there saving the world from evil but with her they always were. At least they had been so far. If she surrendered, all of that might change.

Even if it didn’t, Erin didn’t want to spend the rest of her life being profiled. He was probably doing it right now. Dave had been in the FBI for over 15 years; it was surely second nature at this point. She closed her eyes and rested her forehead on his. Dave’s hand reached around and stroked the back of her hair.

“I just didn’t like keeping that from you anymore.” She said. “You’ve been so open with me and I felt like I was hiding something. That’s not the way to start a relationship. There should be a built in trust between the two of us.”

“I agree.” Dave replied, knowing it was much more than that keeping her awake tonight. He would not press the issue. Pressing Erin Strauss was never a good idea. He’d done it once or twice and it never really ended as either of them would’ve liked. He knew he had strong feelings for her, their few disagreements made his stomach ache.

“I do trust you.” Erin caressed his face, sighing. “I trust you and one day when I find the words I'm going to say them.”

“You just did. We have time, Erin. We’ll take it as slow as you want. I'm never going to try to invade your life. If you want to be with me, I damn sure want you to. If you don’t, you can make that decision too.”

“I'm not…”

“I know; this is not a breakup speech. At least I hope its not.”

“Its not.” She shook her head. “I just need some space, for what I don’t exactly know. My thoughts are scrambled and I'm just not used to that. It takes me back to my days with Alexander, even if the reasons for it are completely different.”

Dave understood. He held her in his arms for a little while and then took her back to bed. In his arms, Erin seemed to calm a little. He stroked her back and listened to her breathe.

“Erin?”

“Hmm?”

“I think you're amazing. I'm happy when I'm with you and that’s not an easy feat. I can be a difficult man.”

“You?” She sat up some to look at him. “No, I didn’t get that at all.”

“Haha.” He kissed her. Erin deepened the kiss and Dave sighed. “You're funny. I like my blondes funny.”

“That’s cute.” She laughed, laying her head on his chest again. “I'm going to sleep now.”

“Goodnight, baby.” Dave kissed her forehead. “Sweet dreams.”

“I'm quite fond of you, David. I just wanted to tell you that before I fell asleep.”

“Ditto.”

Erin nodded, relaxing on Dave and letting sleep embrace her again. She didn’t know if she would make it through the whole night but she would try. It felt good to get some of it off her chest even if that was probably just the tip of the iceberg. The deeper her feelings for him became, the more she wanted to run. Yet who would want to run from such amazing feelings? Erin felt like it was too much to handle and with her work obligations, she feared crashing and burning.

She’d worked too hard for everything to end up doing that. Still, the fear of being alone was almost crippling at times. She wanted love, affection, fun, and sex…things everyone wanted. With Dave she had all of that. It had only been three months but in that small amount of time Erin got more than she ever had with any other man. She lived on pure exhilaration and fear.

“Let it go.” He whispered.

“I'm working on it.” She said.

Dave was in love with her. He was upset with himself for falling so hard so fast but sometimes life liked to kick you in the balls. He went to that art gallery show as a favor to his ex-wife and walked out enamored. Three weeks later he was ensorcelled. Now as the last weeks of summer sizzled away, he was in love.

It had been a long time for him; Dave didn’t know if he would succeed or fail. It seemed to be the one department he couldn’t break even in, much less excel. But Erin was different so maybe this time would be too. He planned to do his best to make it so.

***

  



End file.
